she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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