She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
