CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
where are my eyebrows?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
