Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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