dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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