I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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