i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
