so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
