I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
