so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
