I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
