jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
