There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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