guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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