do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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