So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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