my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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