then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
