I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
