i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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