What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I looked at my own cervix.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
