Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
