You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The uberlube is also flammable
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
