I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
