He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
