And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
