Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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