If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
