Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
