And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
