I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
