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Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sober January is a disaster.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
