call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
