in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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