Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
