I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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