No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
