We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Mom said you looked used
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
