Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
