Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
