I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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