i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize