I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
3 2 1 whiskey
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
