worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
