dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
