oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
