Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
