yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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