well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
