Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is it fun? or sober?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
