I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize