Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize