i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize