we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
