I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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