Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
