and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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