The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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