I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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