I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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