My Higher Power is John Stamos
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
