So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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