The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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