I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
