i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
