the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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